just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
My life is pants optional.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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