We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
