Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
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