You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
