Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize