I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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