I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Just invented taco cereal.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
