btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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