Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
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