Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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