At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Randomize
