Me too!
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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