This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Randomize
