Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
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