well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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