I didn't shave. On purpose
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
They should really pass out barf bags in church
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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