I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
