I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
