Got a toothbrush?
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
