i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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