You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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