Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Randomize
