haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
