Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
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