And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
