Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
honey bunches of taint.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
