found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
