Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Randomize