Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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