weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
