that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Randomize