I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
too bad you live with your parents still
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Randomize
