She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
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