I swear she didn't look like that last week.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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