it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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