Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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