why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
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