I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
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