I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
