I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
