I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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