i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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