dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
