Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
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