I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
