Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
It's just like the Real World with babies
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
