At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Drunk walkin through police station. America
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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