there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Randomize
