Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
