You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Randomize
