My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
