brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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