my phone needs a breathalizer
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
