When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
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