he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
