I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Randomize
