dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
