i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
