I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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