I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize