I have demons in me.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Randomize
