i need an iv and a liver transplant
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
