i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
it's like iHOP with fire
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
