He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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